t took me many years to understand that finding an ideal person wasn’t as easy as I used to think. The concept of love isn’t the same like we see in movies. One sided love is a hell of pain where you can’t expect anything from the other person. Your pains, your joys, your sorrows, and happiness are all yours. You have no right to say something or ask anything in return because it’s one-sided love. If you want to fall in love and share your sincerity with someone special then make sure the person also has some feelings for you. But, it’s also true falling in love is not something planned. It happens accidently and without any pre-planning. All these stray thoughts keep wandering in my mind whenever I think about you.
My efforts, sincerity, and purity for you have no value for you but still, I want to fall in love with you. The only thing that encourages me and soothes me is the thought that I’m not the one you want to fall in love with then why bother and why should I curse my fate. There are different thoughts which often bother me like maybe God doesn’t want to give me such feelings of love or he didn’t write the blessing of being loved in my fortune. If it was the wish of God then why he sent you in my life and put such strong feelings of love in my heart. I always wanted to be a sincere lover and disliked fake people. Playing with someone’s feeling isn’t astuteness for me but a crime. Unfortunately, you don’t believe in intangible things. For you caring means money and gifts, not respect and love.
My all promises are valueless for you because they can’t come true your desires within your expected time period. I want to choose right means as unfair ways always bring severe consequences. But you rejected it because you wanted to enjoy life in your own way but the fact was still there that I’m not the one you wanted to fall in love with then why bother. Yes, we both shouldn’t bother about it. You always say our priorities are different but why you always forget that my first and foremost priority is you and only you. Among the number of options, I am also an option for you. But, still, I want to fall in love with you. Being an option is an unexplainable pain. It kills you from the inside and makes you realize that you are valueless and not good enough to get love in return.
Sometimes I hate myself because I’m unable to hate you and it makes me feel so helpless. Even the feel of loving you enriches my heart with joy and contentment but at the very next moment, I have to endure the pain of being not loved by you. Though, the reason is very clear and straight that I’m not the one you want to fall in love with and maybe one day I become that person you want to fall in love. Hope never leaves me ever and I am making all efforts to become your ideal person. What will I do if someone else meets you and become yours? Even I can’t entertain this thought because I kill me from the deep inside. You didn’t ask me to love you and expect the same from you. It was my fault and I term it the best mistake despite the fact that I’m not the one you want to fall in love with and definitely then why bother.